Why Aren't You Using a Retinoid?

Anne Lamott writes that her favorite prayers are "Please, please, please, please" and "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." Simple, direct, useful, desperate.  I once heard that Robert DeNiro asked a Jesuit for his favorite, short prayer and the brother answered "Fuck it" as in, "Fuck it, it's in God's hands."  I have adopted this as my favorite and most useful prayer. 

This short sentiment embodies faith, as it helps distinguish what is in our control and what is not.  It helps us give in more than it excuses us for giving up.  As a certified *control freak*, the notion that something might be out of my control is tough to accept. Even war, famine, or typhoons can be connected to my choices as a citizen or a consumer.  For those of us who are ecologists or peace activists, the very act of using a paper cup, buying Nikes, filling our tank, or eating meat can wrack us with unnecessary guilt for weeks.  Knowing that all actions indeed have consequences, I often wonder how I might walk my path in balance with right will and intuition?  

There is no more apt a metaphor to illustrate this balance of intention and faith than the use of a retinoid.  With twenty-five years of sound research behind them, retinoids have emerged in the dermatological market as a skin necessity.  They are proven to reduce and prevent wrinkles, even tone, fade age spots, and get this, reverse pre-cancerous cells.  So, why aren't you using one?  

You probably have some sort of guilt around it, equating it with Botox or plastic surgery or something distasteful. But this stuff is just Vitamin-A.  I've ingested stronger elixirs just to make it through an afternoon.  Go ahead and judge me, but I am happy to *naturally* slow the aging process to a graceful stroll.  Many youth-seekers try retinoids for two weeks only to quit.  Quitters! The catch to this miracle in a tube is that it takes a year to see results and for the first few months, one may experience redness, peeling, and extreme breakouts.  One must have faith that the shit will work and one must suffer some discomfort and embarrassment.  

Retinoids bring all of the "dirt" trapped under your old skin to the surface.   Just like dieting and exercise, meditating, or marriage, one has to stick with it to fully enjoy the benefits.  There is nothing more uncomfortable than the beginning of a meditation practice.  One must sit, observe one's thoughts, and pretty much spiral into a serious session of self-loathing as the knees and ass ache and the mind refuses to turn off.  But, for those disciplined meditators or athletes out there, you know practice hurts in the beginning but has huge payoffs when you reach, what Tom Robbins describes as, "the million silver fish darting through the consciousness." 

If retinoids have only been around for twenty-five years and can have such tremendous results, imagine what religion can do. That shit has been around for thousands of years.  Yes, organized religion has some bloody, shameful histories, but surely there is beauty there; why would there be so many followers of the world's wisdom traditions? And, surely, following any religious path will have its share of discomfort and embarrassment (There was nothing more humiliating than going to public school on Ash Wednesday and really, yarmulkes aren't sexy, and Fridays nights are impossible to keep sacred, as are Sunday mornings and living in New England, one of the intellectual capitals of the planet, one appears foolish to say they believe in God, especially if they're educated, blah, blah, blah.)  So many excuses to not adopt a practice, but really, what do you have to lose? Just the weight.  And you have everything else to gain.  Choosing any path and adhering to its practices must bring some insight.  And walking the path of right-will and faith using my Retin-A, I can become wise without the wrinkles usually associated with wisdom.